Food network ramblings

I wonder if the food network chefs ever taste their own food? Or if they do, if they really like it.

Take for example Sandra Lee. In her show, Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee, Sandra once made a Broccoli pie, where she basically boiled some Broccoli, arranged it in a dish, and put some ranch dressing on it like you would do on a pie. And she did not even bother to taste it. This is what it looked like(Oh, and she decorated it with cherry tomatoes):

Or take Paula Deen. She made this Oyster Shooters. She poached/fried oysters in butter(4 pounds of butter), then she cut up the oyster and put them in shot glasses, poured a couple of tablespoons of melted butter in each glass and drank it up! YUCK YUKKITY YUCK is what I felt. And YUCK YUKKITY YUCK is what her face looked like, but her mouth said “it is so good y’all”!

Next up we have Giada. First of all, this is what she told the interviewer in the February issue of the Redbook magazine:

All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don’t indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them.

My first feelings were of anger (WTH is she saying), then I went from anger to mere acceptance of the fact that there are people who will spout nonsense and I will do well to ignore them. So aside from this mention, I shall not say much about her comment. Her food is decent but she looks like she NEVER eats her own food. And have you seen what she wears? It seems like food network focuses more on the region between her head and her waist than what she cooks. Oh, well!

Oh Ina, Ina Ina! Ina Garten has an interesting background. She was a Whitehouse nuclear policy analyst for Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter, eventually giving up her high stress career to one of a celebrity chef and entertainer in the Hamptons. So her shows feature her making breakfasts and lunches and dinners for her friends. I normally like her food. It is clean and looks tasty. What irks me is her language. She keeps saying use “good olive oil”, “good vanilla”, etc. By good, I think she means $100.00 an ounce! And then there is her trademark phrase – “How easy is that?” or “If you don’t grow your own blah blah, store-bought is fine!”. Oh, well Ina, if we had access to the awesome multi-million dollar gadgets and “good” products that you do, sure it is easy! All there irks aside, I do quite like her. But for fun, this picture from foodnetworkhumor.com sums up some of the best bits of her shows.

Then we have the Neelys. The less said about them the better. They are too busy trying to make up sexual innuendos to cook a decent meal. Sample this:Big mama, fat daddy, gimme your pork chops big daddy, etc. Enough said!

Talk about Rachael Ray. I used to love her, until she started over-doing her making up of words/phrases. Like EVOO, Stoup, Spoonula, Sammie, eyeball-it, yumm-oo, delish and then the most annoying mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm! I still love her food though, looks easy, and most times, pretty tasty, and her show is intense!

Last but not the least, Guy Fieri. How does this guy’s hair not catch on fire, given that he puts on loads of hair spray? And what is with the sunglasses at the back of his head, does his chota brain need to be shielded from the light? One look at him, and tell me if you would eat his food:

So is there anyone on the food network I really loooove? Oh yeah, Alton Brown! Have a look at an episode of Good Eats if you get a chance and see how simple his shows are and how delicious the food looks. His shows ooze food-telligence, deep knowledge of food and no big words or big gadgets to hold you back. The best part is that the man eats his own food Oh, and that he is good-looking is only a plus!

 

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