So this is how it works.

You are a star and a role model in your field. A politician, a sportsman, an industrialist. You are revered by millions for your greatness and your ’squeaky-clean’ life. You endorse watches, power drinks, sports apparel etc. You have the perfect life. A good looking wife, great/cute kids and you make millions, and are known as a gentle person. And one fine day it all comes down all around you. It all falls down, like Humpty Dumpty! Then you go into hiding for a long time. Hounded by news-sharks you send out a statement that says you are sorry for your transgressions and apologize to all your fans, say how scared you are of the media hounding you, and say you are not the perfect man the media wants you to be, and request privacy!

Do you think the media is right in first raising up Tiger to an icon, a perfect man and then causing him to have this hard fall? Do you think Tiger said he was sorry only because he got caught? Do you think it is fair that he has to come out like this and apologize for his personal life? Do you care that he did what he did or you only care about his game? Tell me, because I am confused. I am aghast that someone like him, who I thought was the epitome of loyalty would do something like that. Of course we are missing out on the whole story here. We don’t know what goes on in the Woods’ household.

But hey bhagwan. Now I only need to know that Sachin Tendulkar cheated on his wife, to lose all trust in celebrity marriages.

Midweek Masala

• So like a tamacha on my face for writing the last post about De Dana Dan, I see this morning that it had a ‘good opening’ at the box office. To save some dignity, I am going to pray that it doesn’t sustain the momentum!
• Sach Ka Saamna is going to return to Star Plus for a second season. The show garnered a lot of controversy for its format where the contestants get paid for revealing secrets about their personal lives. One particular episode had Vinod Kambli say that he thought that Sachin did not do enough to help his career!
• For years there have been rumors that Aishwarya will be the ‘face’ of a new Barbie that Mattel plans to launch in India. Apparently to mark the 50th year of the Barbie, a new Barbie will be launched with Katrina’s features! Well, as expected the media went berserk with this news. Did you hear what Aishwarya had to say when asked what she thought about the new Kat-Barbie? Did she say ‘I am happy for Katrina and I wish her all the best?’ No way! This is what she said: I was asked by that brand (Barbie), not just now but, I think, since Miss World, then at the turn of millennium, then when my films were raging success after Cannes and this year was the fourth time actually that I was requested by Barbie to walk the ramp on a particular day.””But I was a committed professional working with Vipul Shah and he needed my date on that day so I was unable to accept that offer to walk the ramp that particular day for them. Whoa! Ash you had me at raging success.
• Javed Khan is making a film based on the love story of Salman and Aishwarya, but with a difference. This being Bollywood, this story will end in ‘happily ever after’! The director said “I want to send home the message that if you love someone, you should get married to her or him. Leaving your loved one in the lurch will not bring peace in your life.” Well, Mr. Khan, say that to the lady who was beaten and harassed in that relationship. Wait, will you show that in your movie?
• You guys remember ABCL? The entertainment company launched by Amitabh? Then you will also remember how film after film of ABCL flopped and the company collapsed due to bad management. Well, ABCL is all set to make a comeback under bahu Aishwarya, with the upcoming venture Paa. Apparently bahurani has taken over all the responsibilities of running ABCL and every promotional decision concerning Paa is filtered by her. Here’s wishing her good luck!
• Who is the reigning queen of Bollywood? No prizes for guessing Katrina! With release after release doing not so badly and she featuring in more than 50% of the movies released this year, it is no surprise that Kat is at the top right now. Here is something to make you cringe – she might just win the best actress award this year for New York, unless of course Priyanka wins for Kaminey! What’s your pick?
• There are rumors galore that Boney Kapoor is planning a sequel to Mr. India with Salman as the lead! Salman will play a larger than life, ’superman-like’ character, and Anil Kapoor will also have a part in it. Well, what do you say? Are you up for Sal-man, errrr superman?
• Rajeev Khandelwal(the Aamir guy) is starring in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s upcoming movie, and like all other actors before him, SLB has advised RK to lie low and not talk to the media at all about this one! Yeah that will get everyone out to watch your movie SLB. Good going!

sources:

gossipbollywood.com

timesofindia.com

pinkvilla.com

Two crappy movies and an awesome one

The last weekend we were so movie starved that we ended up watching 3 movies in 3 days!

The first was De Dana Dan. First I want to say that Priyadarshan has officially lost his marbles. Hera Pehri was awesome, superb, rib tickling funny. Hungama was good, but a little loud, but good nonetheless. Hulchul was alright, but tested patience in some places. Garam Masala was okay, strictly okay. Malamal, Bhagam Bhag, Billu were BAD. De Dana Dan actually crosses all hadd of crap. DDD has the same old cast – an old but trying to be young Akshay Kumar, an ageing Suniel Shetty who will never find an acting bone in his body no matter how many times he is cast by Priya, dumb as a tree trunk Sameera Reddy and look-I-am-all-over-the-place but I cannot act to save my life(or others’) Katrina(but I have one good thing to say about her, that is coming up later). . Then there are the usual suspects – Paresh Rawal, Rajpan Yadav, Asrani, Johnny Lever, Tinnu Anand, Manoj Joshi, all yelling at one another(and themselves) in a shouting and kicking match that is De Dana Dan. The icing on this(inedible) cake is an even louder, irritating and cringe-inducing Archana Puran Singh. The only person who does not yell is Katrina, she talks softly and tries her best to ‘act’, but the result is another story(why do so many directors cast her these days?). Well, Sameera Reddy does not yell too, but that is because she only gets two dialogues in the entire movie, where every other actor seems to have been bestowed with verbal diarrhea by the director. DDD gave us a BIG headache, so much that we had to run home to a warm cuppa tea to regain some sense of peace and health. UTTER CRAP. I fail to understand how Priyadarshan can make such crap one after the other. I mean, one crappy movie means the guy was unlucky, two, the guy has a bad period, but so much crap from one man makes me thing this is a saajish by the aliens to wipe planet earth off of all thinking people! Or maybe Priyadarshan secretly has a pharmaceutical company that makes cheap pain pills and he wants to make a profit. His CRAPPY movies give us a headache and he hopes we will buy his crappy pills so that his crappy company can make a profit? Or maybe I have been morphed into a crap speaking alien by DDD?

(I have to admit, in spite of the loudness, there were 2-3 scenes where we laughed hard. But they were so few and far in between that all I remember is the shouting and the headache.)

The second (relatively less crappy) crap was New York. This one also stars Katrina. Now here I have to take a detour and talk about Kat. The girl is pretty. Thats all. That is all I have to say about her. There is nothing else. She cannot smile, she cannot cry, she cannot emote, she cannot laugh. Nothing. She stares at us with a blank expression and beautiful but empty eyes. She might be a smart cookie in real life, but on-screen she is a bimbo. That is what she is…a bimbo. Coming back to New York. It is what I expected it to be. Playing on stereotypes of a Muslim man suspected of being a terrorist, and questioned and tortured for months, becomes a terrorist when he is released for lack of evidence. Another Muslim is sent to infiltrate his sleeper cell and stop them before they do something big. The only person who acted well was Irrfan Khan. The rest, Kat, John Abraham and Neil were useless. Who was the worst? Well, that would be tough to say, because it turns out that behind all that hot-shot, rippling mussal body of john’s there is ….. nothing! He officially dethroned Kat as the most wooden screen presence ever! ****Drumrolls****

Well, two horrors on the senses inflicted, I really wanted to redeem my movie-lover self. Thus a trip to watch The Fantastic Mr. Fox happened. What can I say, I came home a redeemed soul! It is the animated story of a fox and his family who are chased all around town by 3 farmers who are angry that the fox is stealing their chicken! And what a movie that was? Mery Streep, George Clooney, Bill Murray provide the voice over and they were all lovely. I would totally recommend Fantastic to every one of you. Go watch it for pure fun. No shouting, no yelling, no bad acting. ‘Animated animals’ proved to be better actors than some of the bolly-babes and dudes we had watched this weekend. What irony!

 

The Bucket List tag

The Print Lover tagged me to write down my bucket list. Frankly, I never did have much of a list. So here are a few things I have always wanted to accomplish, and still want to!

Marry S! This is one thing on my list that has been completed well ahead of planned time!

Be a journalist – sigh! I don’t know if that is ever going to happen. For as long as I remember I have wanted to be a journalist. But what steps did I take towards that? None! I took the lazy career route and became an engineer. And then started programming! Sigh!

Run a marathon – well I have started running. I can now run as much as 6 miles and not die. I participated in a 10K race and felt awesome. Next year I want to run a marathon. A FULL MARATHON.

Wear a hand-loom saree to work – maybe when we go back to India forever! (I know this one sounds so shallow, but kya karen?)

Drive my own car – yeah I do it everyday now and am sick of it!

Trek the Inca trail in Machu Pichu – 2-4 day journey on foot through the Andes mountains. Some day. Some day.

Have mummy and pappa visit the US – finally that was done when they were here earlier this year.

Get over the fear of water, learn to swim – I am over my fear of water, at least marginally, but I still have to step out of my comfort zone and enrol in a swimming class.

Be the author of a bestseller. Bestseller being a keyword. (I think I might just push this to the keep-dreaming list!)

Have a great kitchen garden where I grow tomatoes, cucumber, pumpkin, onions, herbs, everything imaginable. Sadly, I do not have a green thumb.

Since he is feeling maha lazy, I tag Hitchy, Crafty coz she seems to be doing the vanishing trick too often, and Sraikh coz she is all blogged out!

Handbag updates, sneak peek at vacation pics and 201 posts

I am back people! Did anyone miss me? (Please say yes or you will break my heart!)

Well, first the handbag updates. I DID take my handbag along, but left it in the hotel room everyday when we went out to do things that tourists do. I had the husband carry my drivers’ license and cellphone and I went with emptly hands(literally). How did that go? Well, we found ourselves looking for a hand sanitizer after every restroom visit, only to realise that it was in my handbag which was left back at the hotel room. Then at one point I wanted to look at myself in a mirror and I really missed my handbag then. But apart from these two episodes, I never really missed lugging around the bag! So yay!

I reaised only this morning that the last post was my 200th. I had planned for a fanfare post for my 200th but now that it is past, I shall reserve the fanfare for my 250th! (50-60 more days?)

Finally, I leave you with a few pictures from my vacation. It was warm, it was clear and it was fun!

Freedom?

Are you the type who carries her handbag everywhere she goes? Even on trips where you are required to walk a lot? And lug your handbag around, and the husband’s wallet, keys, hankie, cellphone and the camera slowly find a place in it? And you still lug it around and complain that it is getting to heavy? Me too! Sometimes it seems like it is my lifeline. You are guaranteed to find pretty much whatever you need at any time there. Sometimes I imagine I might be handicapped without it. But then I also suffer from shoulder aches at the end of a long day. I also see women who are hand-bag free and secretly curse them for the freedom they have.

Well not any more. We are going on a vacation tomorrow and I am going to try not carry my handbag around. I am just going to keep my driver’s license and a token credit card in S’s wallet and walk bag-free. What shall I do with my cellphone? I might try putting it in the pocket of my jeans or give it to S to carry. I am really …….breathe breathe…….going to go without my handbag. I AM!

Wish me good luck guys. I will update mid-vacation on how the un-handbagged vacation is going.

Cya!

And with one statement…

…Barbora took us all back into the 18th century. Here is what he said about women in the armed forces

In a few years time, we might see this change (women getting inducted as fighter pilots) coming in with certain pre-conditions that till this age we request you to be happy, be married, but no offsprings

And pray who is this Barbora? He is the IAF Vice Chief Air Marshal no less.

After 13-14 years of service, investments made on fighter pilots are actually recovered by the government,” he said in an indication that women fighter pilots will be allowed to have kids only after putting in 13-14 years in IAF.

So women will be inducted in the IAF and “allowed” to have kids only after 13-14 years of service. So if a woman is 25 when she joins the IAF, by the time she is “allowed” to have kids she will be 38-39 years old? Which is way past the medically healthy age to conceive. That means these women might not conceive at all. Fair enough if you know what you are getting into and do not care if you want kids by a certain age. But what about women who want to be IAF fighter pilots, and are exceptionally talented and ace their training, but also want to have a family? They will be discriminated against because of this, or they will have to lie about their intentions.

Citing reasons for services not inducting women into combat arms, Barbora said,

the armed forces “feel that it is not right to have a lady or a woman exposed to a conflict where she can be a prisoner of war.” “Secondly, psychologically, are we fit? another factor,”

Are we fit? Good question. But hey, fighter pilots do not carry the aircraft on their shoulders, they only man the mechanical systems, right? So why is there a difference between men and women driving the aircraft? While I understand that combat situations might be more difficult for women than men, and also accept that a woman POW might face bigger problems than a male POW, what I fail to understand is why Mr. Barbora cannot explain all this in seemingly non-sexist terms? Why does he have to say things like they do not want disruption of schedules due to women being away on maternity leave. See how the first thing that comes out of his mouth is about women having children, not that women might be physiologically weaker? I would not have called him sexist had he said that women in combat situations might be a bigger risk blah blah but he had to go out there and talk about how women have kids(the same woman who you want sons from) and how the maternity puts a stop on their career for a considerable time. As far as I know, a career lasts 30+ years, and let us say a career in the armed forces lasts 15 years, mere 10 months of being off work is not going to change all that much, is it?

All said and done, while I accept that women in close combat is still a long way away, and that it might be more risky to have women in those situations, I think all these points could have been made in a way that sounds more like an objective assessment and less like it is coming from the mouth of a male chauvinistic pig.

Midweek Masala

• So guess who gets the award for washing dirtiest linen in public? No, not Vivek Oberoi, not Om Puri’s wife either. It is our poor man’s Hrithik, Harman Baweja! Harman spoke to Mid Day(of course Mid Day) about Priyanka Chopra, his breakup with her, and the effects of the break up on him(and how Priyanka has moved on quite well). He also hints at how Priyanka and Akshay had a small ’something’ during Aitraaz days and she also went out with Shahid during Kaminey. It is an interesting read. (go here)
• Someone is getting cold feet. Not Shilpa Shetty, but Kareena. Arey no, don’t go calling everyone telling them Kareena is getting married. So the Kapoor gal merrily shot the love-making scene in Kurbaan with Saif but now wants Karan Johar to delete the scene from the one show mom and dad would be watching! Well Kareena, sau choohe khaake…….
• Speaking of Saifeena(I hate this term), Saif was reported saying that he is wary of overexposing their pair(Saif and Kareena, that is)…well Saif, we are already sick of you two, so can you go back to your cave?
• BTW did you know that Akshay Kumar will be carrying the torch for the 2010 Winter Olympics to be held in Vancouver, Canada? He is the only Indian to be bestowed the honor. Although I am excited that Indians are getting attention all over the world, why Akki?
• In this age of media promotions for movies, and big name crap doing well at the box office, why am I not surprised that Aamir and Amitabh are meeting sometime soon to discuss promotion strategies for their movies Three Idiots and Paa respectively, that release merely weeks from each other. Rather than letting the public do the talking, they want to dictate what the public will watch when, and where…huh!
• Govinda’s daughter Narmmadaa wants her debut film to be opposite a new face, but not another debutant. She also said “Dad keeps giving me lectures. He often tells me to work hard on my expressions and my dancing skills so that I can do well in future”…well Narmmadaa(uff kya hain yeh spelling) you better listen to him, the man has a point!

Hindutva

This week saw politicians of all types giving their two bits on the Abu Azmi vs MNS flap. One of them was RSS chiefMohan Bhagwat. When I saw the headline ”RSS chief takes swipe at Raj Thackeray on language issue” on timesofindia.com, I was curious as to how RSS would react to this. (I consider RSS as an organization that, in recent times, has morphed into a Hindu-nationalistic one that specializes in marginalizing other faiths.) Bhagwat criticized the attack on Azmi and said, among other things “All Indian languages are our languages. Regional issues are being flared up by politicians only to increase their vote-bank”..say what? Did he just say something that actually makes sense? Well I decided to be open about what he wants to say and read on.

Without naming either Raj Thackeray or MNS, Bhagwat further said that social unity fell victim to such extreme positions. Questioning the logic behind stretching regional issues to such lengths, Bhagwat said politicians are only interested in exploiting the situation for their own good.

This was too good a blog opportunity to pass up for me. This was the pot calling the kettle black, after having rubbed off its soot on all cups and saucers!

Finally he added:

Stating that the RSS stood for the unity of the people and that it respected their diversities, Bhagwat said the philosophy of Hindutva alone could help people come together. “The world today is faced with serious problems and only Hindutva can provide answers to these problems. It’s Hindutva which believes in the world as one family,” he added. Hindutva, he said, was the identity of the country.

I admit I know nothing about Hindutva…except that it sounds like something about a Hindu way of life, and that it was coined by Veer Savarkar. So I decided to read up. And for my benefit, and for the benefit of my readers, here is Hindutva from Wikipedia baba:

Hindutva (Devanagari: हिन्दुत्व, “Hinduness”, a word coined by Vinayak Damodar Savarkar in his 1923 pamphlet entitled Hindutva: Who is a Hindu? ) is the term used to describe movements advocating Hindu nationalism. Members of the movement are called Hindutvadis.

So Hindutva means all those practices that advocate Hindu Nationalism. So does it mean all activities that a Hindu does in order to make his/her nation  a hindu nation? Well, not really.

Further,  Supreme Court has ruled that

no meaning to the words Hindu or Hindutva or Hinduism can confine them to a religion alone, excluding the content of Indian culture and heritage.

Meaning that Hindutva can be the practice of advocating Hindu nationalism by Indians of any faith or religion. Still confused? Well I am too. Because according to Savarkar Hindutva meant Hinduness or the Hindu Characteristic. So do they all mean to say that Hindu is NOT = person following the Hindu religion but someone from the land of Hindu, aka, Hindustan? Thinking about the line “excluding the content of Indian culture and heritage” makes me realize that the supreme court really meant to refer to Hindus as those inhabiting Hindustan, not those who are Hindu by religion.

The Supreme Court further says:

Ordinarily, Hindutva is understood as a way of life or a state of mind and is not to be equated with or understood as religious Hindu fundamentalism. A Hindu may embrace a non-Hindu religion without ceasing to be a Hindu and since the Hindu is disposed to think synthetically and to regard other forms of worship, strange gods and divergent doctrines as inadequate rather than wrong or objectionable, he tends to believe that the highest divine powers complement each other for the well-being of the world and mankind.

So it seems like Hindutva was never meant to be what it has become today. A movement that represents Indians of the Hindu faith, specially upper class Hindus. It was never meant to be a movement that looks the other way when radicals are mauling people of other faiths solely because of difference in faiths. The earliest proponents of Hindutva believed that

India’s diversity in terms of customs, traditions and ways of worship was its uniqueness and that this diversity was not without the strong underlying cultural basis which was essentially native. The Hindu natives with all their diversity, shared among other things “the same philosophy of life”, “the same values” and “the same aspirations” which formed a strong cultural and a civilizational basis for a nation.”

Also,

Hindus are those that inhabit the Indian subcontinent, that includes the areas south of the Himalayas and the Hindu Kush….

So there is a separation of the religion and the philosophy of life. For example you could be a Muslim but your ideas and philosophies were akin to the fundamentals of being a Hindu, you would be a Hindu-muslim? This one will surely send people into a spin and here is where the waters get murky. The Hindu way of life encompasses all who are born and who have adopted Bharat as their Motherland, including Muslims, Christians and Parsis. that the Muslims, Christians and Parsis too are Hindus by culture although as religions they are not so. Then the Hindutva philosophy(as defined by RSS) further states that one of their goals is

Emphasizing historical oppression of Hindus by Colonial invaders like the Muslims and the Christians and the call to “reverse” the cultural influence resulting from these intrusions

wait wait wait! Did we not just call all those who adopted Bharat as their motherland as culturally Hindus? So does not mean that even their way of life and cultural influence be a part of being a Hindu then? So why is Hindutva talking about ‘reversing’ the cultural influence? It seems like one statement negates the other, and only succeeds on confusing the poor(me) reader.

What I want to know is the reactions of people from all faiths on Hindutva. Would you embrace the philosophy if it did not have religious connotations? Do you think there is an ‘Indian’ way of life that represents us all first, then there is a ‘faith-based’ way of life, and that these two can be separated?

There is a treasure trove of information on Hindutva, and I have barely skimmed the surface in this post. Further topics under the Hindutva Philosohpy are uniform civil code, opposition to differential laws, rewriting/reinterpreting history from the point of view of a Hindu, rather than the British PoV that exists currently etc, which I will try to reflect and expand upon in the coming weeks.

Of random observations

# As you grow older, you start liking some of the things that you thought were oh-so-uncool growing up. Like eating at home every day. Or not preferring to chat on the phone for hours together. Or for that matter, eating that lauki ki subji that you always associated with oldies? Or horror of horrors ordering the mini thali in a restaurant instead of your usual dosa/vada? It is all a part of growing up and before we know it, we will be doing some of the things that you saw mom doing and made/make fun of her for that.

# I remember I read this on some blog before. About how email ids are being exhausted and there will be none left for your kids. Well, we had a taste of that the other day when we were trying to create an email id to sell an item on craigslist. Guess what? Everything sensible that came to mind was taken and would you believe it? It took us a good 20 minutes to come up with an id that was unique!

# For as long as I can remember I associate Sachin Tendulkar’s centuries in one dayers when India has chased with India’s loss. And this statistic in my head was stregthened during the one day with Australia a few days ago. Sachin scored 170, no one else could support him, he got out, and we lost by 3 runs!

# Why do they make mommy jeans? They do not suit anyone. Then the fashion houses go around saying NEVER WEAR MOMMY JEANS. THEN WHY MAKE MOMMY JEANS?

# Isn’t please the customer a mantra of retail and service industry? Then why is it that beauticians are so ‘frank’ about the way you look? Oh you have black heads you should get blah blah facial, and your hair is thinning, do you want the I-am-going-bald-help-me treatment? Every time I go in for a haircut, the stylist tells me I need this product to make my hair more shiny, and this one to give it volume coz the make-shiny product causes the hair to flop, then finally I need a hair serum to protect myself from all these products that I apply……..result? $100 ka patka!

# I know Murphy would love this. You go to a store and find the perfect colour shirt and want to try it on. You look through the hangers and find all sizes EXCEPT the one you need. Always!