Moms are smart, aren’t they? Even though we know that, there are so many things they say that we merrily ignore, and then regret when faced with the consequences of our action/inaction! Here are a few that I think about everyday.
1. “wash your face at least twice a day” – Sure, I proudly wear my teenage acne scars, like they are battle scars, but deep down I regret ignoring mom’s sane advice to wash the grubby face twice a day with an oil-free face wash. Too late to start now!
2. “Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize” – Although it is not too late to start moisturizing my skin now, I wish I had listened to her, so that I would have struck a routine of rubbing lotion all over myself, EVERY SINGLE DAY! Now I do, but very cursorily, who would bother to waste a good 15 mins doing that when you could be reading a book?
3. “Always strike a nice pose for your pictures” – I used to hate getting clicked, and was always sulky when asked to pose. I look back on my preteen and teenage pics and I shudder. There is an oily, grubby nerd staring back at the camera with a very awkward half-smile. This also goes back to #1. Since I was always unwashed, my face shone thanks to the oil deposits on it, and I hated getting dressed. Result was mostly pajamas, night dresses or sweats! Now I pose with a vengeance, so much so that the husband is driven to insanity!
4. “Come and have conversations with relatives” – Yeah! We(sis and I) never believed in socializing. While parents were the very definition of social animals, my sister and I locked ourselves in our rooms, reading books, playing games or whatever. I sulked and sat on the sofa for a minute or so, when called to greet the visitors, but the sister was a step ahead of me. She acted like she was asleep. The result was that I was always dragged away from my beloved books and forced to sit with people. Little did I know that being an adult also means being social. Now I am so bad at making new friends, keeping in touch etc, that I wish I had put some more effort into being a social animal. Now it is too late to start, because I am so set in my ways.
5. “Wake up early” – This is another beautiful thing about being an adult and haunts me everyday. Growing up, I used to wake up at a merry 7:30am every day. When I started working though, it changed. Now if I am late in waking up, I know I will be late to work, resulting in my being late going back home in the evening, which means dinner would be late, which in turn means I would sleep late, and wake up late the next day, blah blah blah! I wish I had listened to her advice then, so waking up early would not have been an everyday battle of wits.
6. “Come help me in the kitchen sometimes” – goes back to being an adult. Having to cook and clean is a task for me, not enjoyable or anything. Just a task. It makes me think if I had helped mom around the house I would have been better equipped to deal with, well, life!
7. “Learn to stitch etc” – Every time I spot a cute, overpriced skirt or a top at stores like Banana Republic and the likes, I cringe. If I knew how to sew, I would have made it myself, and also felt immense satisfaction. Not to mention, a creative vent! Now I am having to spend 100s of hard earned dollars on overpriced crap that I love to wear, but would have been stitched in a jiffy by mom, with double stitching, no less! Sasta and tikau.
Things I am glad I listened to:
1. “Have pride in yourself” – this is something I probably did not need any lessons on, nevertheless, mom always kept drilling it into our head that you are what you think of yourself, nothing less, nothing more. Smart words.
2. “Stand up for yourself, don’t lose your voice” – No one else will come to rescue you, you will have to do it for yourself. Speak out or shut up and don’t complain.
3. “Always listen to your instincts, especially when it comes to men” – this one has stood me in good stead. The men I have been leery of for no reason, more often than not turn out to be pigs 🙂
4. “Don’t wait for the husband, the brother, the friend etc to do something you want done. If you can do it yourself, do it!” – I have seen my mom take charge of tasks and complete them at her own pace(which is frenetic) as opposed to waiting for my dad to do them. More often than not, whenever she has waited for dad to do something, things always got done the last second. I have inherited this trait from her. If I am desperate to get something done, I go out and do it. It may be as small as getting groceries to as big as booking flight tickets for a vacation!
Since my parents only had 2 girls, I don’t know how it is for the guys. Did your moms tell you stuff or did your dad? I am really curious what constant small teachings boys/men were given on day-to-day life.
shilpadesh
Amen on the sewing! I really have no recollection of what and why I never bothered to learn when there was a sewing machine at home, tons of tailors around etc.
Now I am reading a lot and teaching myself to sew.. its working (sort of) but could’ve been so much easier.
I laughed at my mom when she asked me to learn to sew. I thought I could buy whatever I want ready-made. Now when I have to shell out hard earned money for less than par stuff, I remember that.
I did learn to sew in school but stopped in the seventh standard and opted for computers. Now I wish I hadn’t… the sewing class was really useful and we did nothing in computers except get the teacher to let us play video games! My mum is great seamstress but I doubt I would have stitched my own clothes. But I think knowing how to do it is useful…I want to do a patchwork quilt for my baby and dont’ know where to start.
How I wish I had listened to my mom when she asked me not to hate the home made food!. I used to make faces when she cooked Idli/Dosa or anything authentic(Can’t believe it!!)
Now, searching for Indian restaurant around and eating frozen food makes me feel I should have eaten at home when I had the chance:(
Ahh that homecooked food thing haunts me as well. I would give anything for ma ke haath ka khana now!
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to help in the kitchen
to learn how to dance
I wish i would atleast start now!
Sure you can start to learn dance at any age. Age is after all only a state of mind.
Boys are given almost the same advice, my son hates to clean his face (with the same result); he wakes up early (his natural inclination); never poses for pictures; meets most visitors most of the time; and I hope will remember the first two of the last four wonderful points too, and the last two with some modification.
But I don’t think meeting relatives makes much difference. I avoided meeting relatives as a kid and was generally left alone, but I like meeting family and friends now. I think sometimes children are not completely included in the conversation by the visitors, so they get bored. I remember enjoying meeting only some relatives, these were the ones who talked to us about things that we understood and hence enjoyed. I used to let my kids just say hello and go back to whatever they would rather be doing.
I was an early riser all my life, my sister was the one to stay in bed for ‘just a moment longer’, she stayed up till late too. But now she gets up early and goes to work and I am sometimes the lazy one. I read somewhere, how some of us are born larks and some are born owls.
Sewing and cooking are such wonderful skills to have! I can’t sew at all!
Loved the four things you did listen to – in fact those are the most important ones, so probably your mom stressed more on them.
I like to tell myself that what I listened to were the most important things. Things that cannot be learnt as you get older.
You interpretation of not meeting relatives is refreshing. The conversations are so adult-oriented that kids are left out!
Agree with IHM about the relatives thing. I was not very social as a child and would tend to say two words and try to escape but now I enjoy socialising with relatives (not with other people though). But that’s because I now see the value of family and I find the auntyji kind of conversation quite endearing.
Same pinch. My Mom and Nani would go on along similar lines and I am very happy about everything that I have taken up… thanks to them. Lovely, heartwarming post!
Thanks Deboshree.
Totally with you on point 4 …. never really felt like having conversations with visitors …
Also never appreciated how much efforts she took to take care of my skin / hair. Now I make no effort and my skin is dry and hair is so lifeless 😦
Stupid skin and hair are such that once they start going downhill there is really no way to bring them back to their past glory!
Hi Shilpa,
Am going to fwd this to my 2 teenage daughters to read!!
I hope they don’t curse me for this!
what a great post! this is true for me too..NEVER listened to my mom/dad and look where it’s gotten me 😀
so wish i knew how to sew and knit..o well!
How true! I was literally nodding for most of the points you said! How much we ignored our mom’s words then, and now we think about them; and even blog them!!
I never wake up early, all these years, but now, I struggle to manage my time!!
Don’t wait for the husband, the brother, the friend etc to do something you want done. If you can do it yourself, do it!”
Loved it. I believe it and do it.
Nice write up.
Love this post. So get what you mean about the pictures. I have so few pictures of me that are presentable at that age (and even now, actually!).
And the cooking task thing…now that the house is nicer and the kitchen is so alluring, I find that changing a bit. So superficial, huh?!
A lovely post.
ufff sadly moms are smart for us only when we are very small or become big and mature such is the way of life
great post shilpa and congrats on the blog adda pick