It is so easy to not think about something, and then neglect any action on it for months, years together! And then it is doubly hard to get back into the thick of things. That is precisely what had happened to my blog. And now I intend to be back, giving this feeble life support to my dying(hopefully not already dead) blog. I want to write about my baby(kid, not a baby anymore) and of Modi lovers, who are irking me a bit too much on social media. I also want to write about health, workout, about love, life and about changing people. So here is to a very sick blog, and hoping it gets the life support it needs, from me!
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Before having a baby I used to spend at least 30 minutes every morning in my closet, trying to come up with the outfit for the day. I used to coordinate my accessories very carefully with the dress and also spend time ironing the outfit EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Cut to now, after having a baby, I have organized my closet and pared it down such that everything goes with everything. I can pick up any blouse and pair of pants or a skirt and they go well, like they were made for each other. Of course I have also learnt to mix in patterns and colors so I am less matchy matchy now than I ever was! And ironing, what ironing? Most of my current clothes are the wrinkle free variety, silks, polyester or knits that don’t need to be ironed. Of course I still have my linen pants, skirts, shirts from pre-baby but those get an outing only when I have more than 2 minutes to put something on and get out the door. Jewelry gets the same treatment. Where I used to spend hours and hours looking at my jewelry collection and matching up sets and coordinating jewelry with scarves etc, now I hang up all my earrings in a clear plastic organizer, and all my necklaces are hung from my closet, so I have a clear view of everything, and picking the right accessory doesn’t take more than a few minutes. Most days I just grab a dress or a blouse and pants or a skirt and coordinating accessories the night before and put it in the bathroom ready to be worn in the morning after my gym run!
This process of keeping everything in control has helped me build a wardrobe that is much stronger and wider in scope than before, and it is much more manageable, because I don’t have 15 similar sweaters, or 10 pairs of grey pants anymore! A lot of thought goes into every piece of clothing I buy, where before I would go to the mall and buy 10 blouses, each looking like the other, and tens of earrings that were similar to the ones already in my jewelry collection, now I give everything one extra minute of thought. I run everything I buy through a series of questions – do I have anything similar in my closet, will I wear this more than once a week, can I pair this with more than 3 items in my closet, is it a trend piece or a classic, is it affordable, do i REALLY need it? Most times, even if I cheat on some of the questions, by the time I get to the end of my thought cycle, I tell myself I don’t need the said item. Only the items that pass all these questions come home with me. As a result, where I used to have 50 blouses before, and only 10 of them got worn in a year, now I have 30 and most of them see the light of day. This results in my outfits not being repeats, or even near repeats most days of the month!
What is your clothing philosophy? What are some of the tricks you employ to stay fashionable?
With that out of the way, here is something about my kid.
I pick up BabyN from daycare and start asking him how his day was. I’m expecting him to tell me he drew pictures, painted, sang, rode a bike, danced etc.
Me: nino what did u do today?
N: cereal, milk
Me: that was Ur bfast? Wow nice what did u do after eating?
N: idee sammar
Me: oh good u had lunch then?
N: seep nino seep shanak seep eeya seep palli seep
Me: oh after nap?
N: stabelli tintava (he means I ate strawberry
Me: so u ate all day and slept that’s all, nothing else? No play?
N: ninu bibi cackers(crackers) tintava?
Gah he wanted crackers even before we got home, and he ate and slept all day. This is the story everyday, well he is my son after all!
She was 8, hated socializing, but loved going to weddings because of the food. Puri and bagara baingan were her favorites, as was double ka meetha. It was a different matter that right from when she was a baby she looked like a double roti! She also loved papas and bhajis but any wedding without Bagara baingan was not a real one at all! She had been to one such wedding where she announced loud and clear – What kind of wedding is this, there’s no bagara baingan!
Now at 30 she makes a mean baga baingan but still loves her shadi-wala bagara baingan!
I have always been too much in love with life to be thinking about death, but having a baby changed all that! I am still in love with life, but am constantly thinking about what will happen to my baby if I die. Well, if I die, my husband will be there to take care of him, what if we both die? Do we have a plan for our baby’s guardianship in case something like that happens? The answer is a no, we haven’t really thought about who takes the baby in we are both gone. The most obvious thing would be either of our parents will do it. But then the question is, which one? And is it better if these things are written down for posterity so there is no confusion?
More importantly, should I talk to my baby, as soon as he can understand, about prematurely losing his parents? That it is possible that he might be left without parents? I don’t ever remember my parents even hinting at the possibility of this scenario. In fact even now I don’t think I can deal very well with either of my parents dying **shudder** but I also want my kid to be prepared in case such a thing happens. I want him to feel equipped to deal with such a tragedy, not be depressed and lose himself in the grief.
Reading this post, I do think it sounds crazy to be thinking like this, but we have been hearing of way too many cancer diagnoses, health scares, shootings and accidents to feel safe anymore. What do you think about planning for death? Have you done that? And have you talked to your children about it?
There is a lot of discussion about the new book – Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting, by Pamela Druckerman. In it she talks about how she discovered that the French way of parenting results in very independent and self-sufficient and well-behaved kids. Although I haven’t read this book, judging from the excerpts I did read, and from reviews I read online, I have a few things to say!
- She mentions how she never saw a french parent jump around with their kids in the park, like we see a lot of American parents do. My question is, what is so bad about jumping the hoops with your kid, in the playground? I for one love doing it with my son because it makes me feel young, and he loves it because mommy’s participating in his games. And I get a workout too!
- There is some discussion about how French children never disturb their parents when they are on the phone. I admit that is a good quality, but how can you ask a 2-year-old to be quiet so you can complete your conversation? How much does a 2-year-old understand, what is the guarantee the kid won’t think that mommy/daddy doesn’t have time for him!
- There is a lot of discussion about delayed gratification. About how French parents make their kids wait before they answer their need. Like when the kid asks for something, the parent won’t go to the child right away, it is only after a few minutes of calling that the parent responds. I don’t know if it is bad or not, I have been grappling with this for quite some time, but deep down I feel like answering a kid’s call should be #1 priority of the parent. Responding to them does not mean you are spoiling them. On the other hand, I feel like they turn out to be very stable and secure individuals who know that mommy or daddy or both will always be available to lend a hearing ear whenever needed. And that, I think, makes very secure adults.
- One thing I wholeheartedly agree with the author is about eating. I believe that children should be taught to eat everything the parents eat, not just white/yellow foods! And I believe this learing should start as early as possible. A non-fussy child makes for a non-fussy adult.
I feel like I should jsut go and get the book from the library rather than passing judgement after reading a paragraph here and there! Have any of you read the boo? Do you have any thoughts?