There are so many wives in unhappy marriages who are beaten by their husbands orΒ in-laws. Most times the woman’s parents, siblings and other family are aware of this, and still don’t even lift a finger to help the woman. Of course a woman should always first be expected to stand up for herself, before she expects help from outside, but more often than not, most women are tuned to adjust to circumstances. There are two things I fail to understand. One is, how can you let yourself be beaten day in and day out? How come your hand doesn’t lift up to stop the abuser or to give a smack back? This is big, but the second thing is what drives me more crazy. How can a mother or a father let their dear daughter being abused like that? Or for that matter, how can a sister or a brother let someone beat their dear sister?
You have a daughter, you bring her up with love, fulfill all her wishes, she is your dil ka tukda. Then you get her married to the best person you think will take care of her. All that is fine, but what happens to your love for her once she is paraya dhan? How come her beatings have no effect on you, that you don’t go to her married home, pack all her things up and walk her out of there, slapping the husband in the process? Because that makes more sense to me than you asking her to ‘please adjust’ or hope they have kids soon so that the husband might change?
How come the heart of a brother or a sister does not ache to see their sister suffering? What happened to all the childhood bonds after the woman is married?
I swear to god if someone as much as glares at my sister, or says things to her I would rip that person’s head off at the least.
WELL SAID same here anyone dare say anythign to my sis that person is DEAD.. no second thoughts about it
problem is we have become selfish .. Hum theek hai bas thats important rest dont matter now wonder the world is running downhill ..
Sad sad situation I also beleive that man who hits a woman is not a MAN.. he shud be castrated and thrown away simple logic
But shouldn’t that hum include your loved ones? That is what I don’t understand, I am selfish enough to make sure my family is alright. So even the selfishness argument does not do anything for me!
Yes the HUM should involve family but these days family is Wife-husband – kids. Thats where it all stops we all have started to think of that confined circle.
But there are still a few who think like me to me my family is Parents-frriends and all i love and who love me …
You will be surprised to know that even in this time and age, there are women, our age, so called educated etc condemn women who are opting for a divorce or are walking out of an abusive relationship. the only answer i hear is, “a girl is supposed to hold her family together” and not leave and divorce. i have a friend here who is pretty and well educated but her very very very ugly huband comments on her body and she has developed body image issues, i fail to understand, i truly do. how can an educated woman think or behave like that? and if the girl cannot stand upto herself who can fight her battles?
While it is true that parents and family should look out for the girl, first and foremost it is the responsibility of the woman herself to look after her own well being! This thing about holding the family together is going too far, and mostly dependent on the woman in question!
If the woman is weak, she is not going to stand up for herself. I know of several cases(I volunteer at a shelter) where the woman loves the husband too much to just walk out of a situation like that. They sometimes think the situation is still salvageable. In very, very, very rare cases, the husband does come back to his senses and act sensibly afterwards and they both work towards repairing the damage that has been done.
This one struck a chord.
It’s impossible to justify how parents and family can alienate their girl once she’s married. How they can see her suffer and not help her get out of the pain.
I have to go with your consensus. No one better dare to harm the women who are dear to me.
Exactly my sentiments. Most parents don’t approve of their daughter’s divorce and keep asking her to adjust even if she is unhappy. “Reputation”, “Honor” matter to them more. Also, Indian parents are tuned to detach themselves from their daughters once she is married. Attachment is seen as interferance π¦
[…] : shilpadesh What : Beating a wife Tangy : Too many questions raised by Shilpa in this post. Domestic Violence is very prominent in […]
This is something I am not able to understand either. I can only guess that some of those who tolerate violence have been victims so they see it as a sad fact of life. But I personally know mothers who cry and live in absolute misery but do not make that effort to help and support their daughters – totally beyond my comprehension.
[…] is very much prevalent in India and husband beating wive is one of the common phenomena. Shilpadesh questions how can the other family members ignore such abuse? […]
[…] is very much prevalent in India and husband beating wive is one of the common phenomena. Shilpadesh questions how can the other family members ignore such […]
same here π will do just the same if some one does that to my sister